Just 4 Questions

by Tom Carter

In his book Gerir le stress, l'anxiete et la depression sans medicaments ni psychanalyse(Heal stress, anxiety and depression without drugs or psychoanalyze) David Servan-Schreiber recommends 4 questions to be asked to understand and help a person who is stressed.

Of course you can help everybody around who is stressed but if the stressed person is you, just ask those questions to yourself and try to find out the answers?

1. What has happened?
   
   Answer this question to clear up and fully understand what the real problem is. What is the source of your feelings? What has made you so angry, impatient, anxious or depressed?
   

   Whatever happens it happens with you and nobody unless you will be able to clearly express and formulate the reasons. Even if you go to a doctor he will start with the same question.
   

   Write the answer! This will help you in being specific and to not play around.
   



2. What did you feel?
   
   Being clear about what you exactly feel is a tough topic. However realizing what your feelings are is a key step in finding the ultimate solution.
   

   Is it anger or rage; sympathy or compassion?
   



3. What was the most difficult part for you?
   
   This question focuses your attention to the node of the problem. If you manage to identify it, untying it will be just a matter of strong will and time.
   

   For instance let?s assume you are angry with your boss. The most difficult part for you is:
   

   
   
   • Keep silent while seeing him making mistakes, which he afterwards will transfer to you?
   
   
   • You can not stand him because of his inability to find out instantaneous and accurate solutions?
   
   
   • He pisses you off because he checks your work to the detail and nags at you while in the same time he is not able to do his own work ?
   
   The three situations above are completely different and imply completely different solutions.
   

   Once you have identified the real problem you are ready to start looking for the solution.
   



4. What helps you deal with it?
   
   

   Now you have to focus your attention from identifying what the problem is, to the actual solution. Look deep inside and answer this question.
   The answer will be the first step towards dealing with your overall feeling of being stressed. But you have to find it for yourself because only this way it will work for you.